My GRANDDaddying Thoughts from New Orleans
- Allan Shedlin
- Jul 16
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 17
By Allan Shedlin
Grampsy and Founder, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
As soon as I thought her language skills were developed well enough to understand what I was saying, I told Casey, my first grandchild, that she put the "grand" in my daddying. And well before she could understand the words, I was present as often as possible – bonding at every opportunity. Of course, I followed suit with my four subsequent grandchildren.
After all, being a Granddaddy (or Daddy or Mommy or Grandmommy) is more than who you are, it's also what you do.
I recently returned from the Postpartum Support International (PSI) 38th annual conference in New Orleans, where I served on a guest panel that looked at the different stages of fatherhood. And I was invited to speak about one that doesn't often get attention: the grandfatherhood stage.
Perhaps, few people have thought of being a grandfather as a stage of fatherhood. Of course, you don’t get to be a grandfather without having been a father first. Hopefully, we get to utilize and incorporate some of what we learned along the way. And we may have time to be more present.
Given the limitations of my designated time as a panelist, I chose to have the audience of social workers, psychologists, doulas, therapists, OB-GYNs, psychiatrists, etc. think about the unique opportunities grandparenting presented to three generations the instant one becomes a grandparent.
In that instant, two fundamental changes occur:
You and your daughter/son become a generation older; and
You now have something in common with that "child" that you never had in common with them before: you are now both parents.
Those fundamental changes provide unique opportunities to reset and deepen your relationship with your child, and they provide a unique opportunity for your son/daughter to have a fuller appreciation of your role as a parent and the decisions you made in that role.
Another point I chose to emphasize in my presentation was to debunk the concept of "grown-up" as a moment in time when you have matured to a point when you are finally grown up with the implication that you are done growing. To illustrate that point, I shared the photos below of Ben, my oldest grandson, receiving his nursery school diploma and his BS in computer engineering:
When I asked the audience what they noticed in the two photos, there were a variety of responses, including how much Ben had changed. Nobody commented on how much I had changed. So, I pointed out how it was important to be reminded that we all continue to grow and evolve throughout our lives.
As a matter of fact, one of my most important mantras, learned from anthropologist Ashley Montagu is, “My goal in life is to die young as late as possible."
It should not go unnoticed that PSI's annual conference included two sessions and a special training devoted to fathers. Although the conference attendees were about 95 percent female, there is still an increasing recognition that fathers need to play an important role before and after the birth of their children and that they, too, may experience perinatal and postpartum anxiety and/or depression.
Daddying Film Fest 2026
The 5th annual Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) welcomes film and video submissions, including TikToks and Instagram reels, from students (3rd-graders through undergraduates), Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and indie filmmakers worldwide! Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and students can submit videos/films for FREE on D3F's FilmFreeway page through Friday, Oct 3, 2025. Regular entry deadline is Monday, December 8.
And DC-region student and Dad singers, rappers, bands, choirs, dancers, and poetry slammers, don't forget this year's NEW Daddying Film Forum Opening Acts Contest! We're hosting a music, poetry, and dance video competition to choose opening acts that will perform live at the 4th annual Daddying Film Forum in Washington, DC, January 30-31, 2026. The contest is open to local DC, Maryland, and Virginia students, Dads/Dad figures, and Granddads across a range of musical, spoken-word, and dance performance categories. Contest entries are FREE* but must be submitted no later than October 3, 2025.
Not from the DMV? No problem! Even if you're not located in DC, MD, or VA, we'd love for you to create/submit a daddying-related music/dance video for D3F 2026 consideration, and all student and Dad/Granddad/Dad figure entries are still FREE if submitted by October 3, 2025. Students/Dads/Dad figures will still be eligible to earn Atticus Awards and prize money in their respective award categories! Check D3F's website for more details.
*NOTE to choir/dance directors, teachers, and other adults submitting videos on behalf of their students: Please submit contest videos on FilmFreeway as "student" submissions to ensure properly qualified as FREE entries.
Allan Shedlin has devoted his life's work to improving the odds for children and families. He has three daughters, five grandchildren, and numerous "bonus" sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Trained as an educator, Allan has alternated between classroom service, school leadership, parenting coaching, policy development, and advising at the local, state, and national levels. After eight years as an elementary school principal, Allan founded and headed the National Elementary School Center. He has written about education and parenting for major news outlets and trade publications, as well as appearing on radio and TV. In 2008, he was the first male honored as a "Living Treasure" by Mothering Magazine and founded REEL Fathers. In 2010, he advised the Obama White House on fathering policy. In 2017, he founded the DADvocacy Consulting Group. In 2018, he launched the DADDY Wishes Fund and Daddy Appleseed Fund. In 2019, he co-created and began co-facilitating the Armor Down/Daddy Up! and Mommy Up! programs for veterans and their children. He has conducted daddying workshops with Native American pueblos, veterans’ groups, penitentiaries, Head Start centers, corporate boardrooms, and elementary schools. In 2022, Allan founded and directed the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). In 2024, he was named to Who’s Who. In 2025, he was named “Father of the Year” by the Fathers & Families Coalition of America. Allan earned his elementary and high school diplomas from NYC’s Ethical Culture Schools, BA at Colgate University, MA at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and an ABD at Fordham University. He considers his D-A-D and GRAND D-A-D the most important “degrees” of all.
