Those End-Of-Summer Butterflies May Never Go Extinct
- Allan Shedlin
- 7 days ago
- 8 min read
By Allan Shedlin
Grampsy and Founder, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
We’ve all been there – daddies and mommies alike. And if we allow ourselves to revisit how we felt as we began a new school year, we’ll likely remember a mix of excitement and anxiety. Some of us may even remember the butterflies we felt in our stomachs.
As students, we probably gave very little thought to how our teachers were feeling – those entrusted to optimize our learning. Those who cared for and about us. As a former student, teacher (graduate school UP to nursery school), school principal, education consultant, writer, daddy and granddaddy, I’ve lived it from various sides over many decades.
But as the bell rings on a new school year, something is profoundly awry in our nation – in the towns, cities, and states in which the school doors open. It is well-documented that reduced funding will impact some students more than others. But the uncertainty, worry, and fear are having a disquieting impact on all educators, students, and families.
The attacks on curriculum and research, as well as draconian funding cuts, threats of gun violence, attacks on immigrant students and their families, and the proliferation of technologies, like AI and smartphones (and how to deal with them), cause insecurity and unease at a time when security, safety, stability, and predictability are most needed to assure optimal learning environments so that schools remain safe harbors during manmade storms hitting the education community. Storms that, like those fueled by climate change, are coming at us with greater intensity and frequency than ever before.
And now, many in the education community and community at-large, including students and parents, feel that schools and universities as we know them, once free from federal meddling, are being threatened, if not yet fully endangered. They are endangered by increasingly toxic, manmade conditions like the real butterflies and other vital pollinators that continue to suffer despite the best efforts of scientists and conservationists, including the International Union for Conservation of Nature, Vildwerk., and the Xerces Society.
But while our education and natural environments remain in crises, those end-of-summer butterflies always seem to endure and multiply.
* * *
The following blog post first published here on the Daddying blog, August 15, 2023:
Beginning at age three, I have spent every year of my long life connected to schools as student, teacher, administrator, policy advisor, parent, grandparent, and father and grandfather of a teacher. So, it’s no wonder that when August rolls around, it feels like the beginning of a new year.
Ever since first writing a version of this piece in 2010, I have felt that the ante/anti has been raised on children growing up and also on teaching. It is as if the butterflies referred to below have become larger and more plentiful with more rapidly fluttering wings. The world seems like a more dangerous and precarious place. Concomitantly, the mental health of children and youth is on the decline and, thus, the teachers and parents entrusted to their care are under increasing pressures. And all this is amplified by a critical shortage of teachers caused at least in part by pressures to make up for “learning loss,” the banning of books and the challenges to teaching the full measure of American history.
Nevertheless, schools still tend to begin around this time of year and the normal anxieties associated with new beginnings mixes with a sense of excitement and promise. At the end of each school year, a little caterpillar crawls into every student’s belly, figuratively speaking. The caterpillar spins a cocoon and rests there until late summer when it metamorphoses into a butterfly. Almost at once, the butterfly’s antennae pick up signals that school will soon begin. The butterfly’s wings start fluttering, building to a crescendo the day before school starts. When we think of our own youth, many of us may remember those “butterflies” in the pit of our own stomachs as the opening day of school approached.
As parents, we want to help our children deal with their “first day of school jitters” with a minimum of angst. To do that, it’s useful for us to remember the collywobbles we may have felt as kids. We can use the insights gained from our own experiences to talk with our kids about why it is perfectly normal to feel nervous and vulnerable at the beginning of a new school year. In fact, situations such as these can be useful “parenting moments” because kids are uniquely receptive and open to growth.
When we acknowledge our children's end-of-summer butterflies, we let them know their feelings are legitimate. We show them we understand – our support goes a long way in helping them feel they can talk with us during times of stress.
Pre-opening school nervousness is directly influenced by a child's age, stage of development, school history, and recent summer experiences. To help diminish the jitters, it is useful to consider some of the contributing factors:
Teachers: Concern about whether teachers will like them is probably the single greatest worry for kids. Students often feel that teachers arbitrarily decide on the first day who will be the class "pet" or the “goat.” Remind your children that how the teacher responds to them is usually influenced by how they present themselves. Use this opportunity to discuss appropriate classroom behavior such as kindness, cooperation, completing assignments on time, and respectfulness.
Popularity and Friends: Kids worry a lot about whether they will be popular and have friends. This is a good opportunity for you to explore the qualities they value in a friend, and how one can tell who a real friend is. Also help your child to consider the importance of having a few close friends rather than a large number of more superficial acquaintances.
School Work: Certain subject areas may raise particular concerns for your child. Students might worry, for example, about math, reading, science, physical education, or other subjects in which they have received poor grades or had difficulties with a particular teacher. Listen to your kids as they talk about their concerns. Together you may be able to sort out some of the reasons for their fears and develop some strategies for dealing with those fears.
Clothes and Supplies: Having the latest clothes and “correct” school supplies can be very important to children. As newspapers, television, and social media become increasingly laden with back-to-school advertisements, they create pressures to buy the "right" clothes and “correct” supplies. Before school opens is a good time to ask your kids what clothes and supplies are most important to them so, together, you can figure out what is reasonable and practical to purchase.
Safety: Due to increased attention to school violence and bullying, as well as recent local and national events, we are all more on edge. Talk to your child about the difference between the fear that is generated by media attention to such events versus their likelihood of happening – statistics indicate that there has been a steady decrease in school violence, and schools are generally very safe places.
When we acknowledge our children's end-of-summer butterflies, we let them know that their feelings are legitimate. We show them that we understand – our support goes a long way in helping them feel that they can talk with us during times of stress.
Some additional ways to help your kids get off to a good start for a new school year:
Remind them that end-of-summer butterflies are normal for everybody – even teachers!
Spend time with your child reviewing what contributed to last year's personal successes and disappointments. Use this review to develop strategies for the new year. Point out that a new school year is a great opportunity for a fresh start.
Ask your child to suggest specific ways in which you can be supportive and helpful.
Don’t make negative comments about school or teachers when your child is in earshot. It’s difficult for kids to give teachers and school a fair shake if they hear you say negative things even before school begins.
As those end-of-summer “butterflies” become active in our kids’ stomachs, we might remind ourselves about how miraculous it is for a caterpillar to metamorphose into a butterfly – one that is eager to stretch its wings and explore new worlds.
Daddy and Mommy on.
Daddying Film Fest 2026
The 5th annual Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) welcomes film and video submissions, including TikToks and Instagram reels, from students (3rd-graders through undergraduates), Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and indie filmmakers worldwide! Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and students can submit videos/films for FREE on D3F's FilmFreeway page through Friday, Oct 3, 2025. Regular entry deadline is Monday, December 8.
And DC-region student and Dad singers, rappers, bands, choirs, dancers, and poetry slammers, don't forget this year's NEW Daddying Film Forum Opening Acts Contest! We're hosting a music, poetry, and dance video competition to choose opening acts that will perform live at the 4th annual Daddying Film Forum in Washington, DC, January 30-31, 2026. The contest is open to local DC, Maryland, and Virginia students, Dads/Dad figures, and Granddads across a range of musical, spoken-word, and dance performance categories. Contest entries are FREE* but must be submitted no later than October 3, 2025.
Not from the DMV? No problem! Even if you're not located in DC, MD, or VA, we'd love for you to create/submit a daddying-related music/dance video for D3F 2026 consideration, and all student and Dad/Granddad/Dad figure entries are still FREE if submitted by October 3, 2025. Students/Dads/Dad figures will still be eligible to earn Atticus Awards and prize money in their respective award categories! Check D3F's website for more details.
*NOTE to choir/dance directors, teachers, and other adults submitting videos on behalf of their students: Please submit contest videos on FilmFreeway as "student" submissions to ensure properly qualified as FREE entries.
Send us your Daddying films & videos to celebrate D3F's 5th Anniversary this January!
Allan Shedlin has devoted his life's work to improving the odds for children and families. He has three daughters, five grandchildren, and numerous "bonus" sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Trained as an educator, Allan has alternated between classroom service, school leadership, parenting coaching, policy development, and advising at the local, state, and national levels. After eight years as an elementary school principal, Allan founded and headed the National Elementary School Center. He has written about education and parenting for major news outlets and trade publications, as well as appearing on radio and TV. In 2008, he was the first male honored as a "Living Treasure" by Mothering Magazine and founded REEL Fathers. In 2010, he advised the Obama White House on fathering policy. In 2017, he founded the DADvocacy Consulting Group. In 2018, he launched the DADDY Wishes Fund and Daddy Appleseed Fund. In 2019, he co-created and began co-facilitating the Armor Down/Daddy Up! and Mommy Up! programs for veterans and their children. He has conducted daddying workshops with Native American pueblos, veterans’ groups, penitentiaries, Head Start centers, corporate boardrooms, and elementary schools. In 2022, Allan founded and directed the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). In 2024, he was named to Who’s Who. In 2025, he was named “Father of the Year” by the Fathers & Families Coalition of America. Allan earned his elementary and high school diplomas from NYC’s Ethical Culture Schools, BA at Colgate University, MA at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and an ABD at Fordham University. He considers his D-A-D and GRAND D-A-D the most important “degrees” of all.
