When Firsts are Over and Finals Begin, Daddying Finds New Life
- Allan Shedlin
- 26 minutes ago
- 3 min read
By Scott Beller
Daddying Editor
It's the season of finals for students. For parents of seniors, that first sentence takes on a whole new meaning. Layers of meaning. And that makes it almost as tough on us.
When I became a dad for the first time, the "firsts" were, of course, eagerly anticipated and easily celebrated – first diaper change, first steps, first word, first haircut.
Firsts were everything.
This week, in the midst of final exams, AP exams, Virginia State Crew Championships, and everything else, my senior – my first child to graduate high school – prepared to sing in her last choir concert. As my wife and I sat back listening to our daughter and her amazing choirmates perform, I recalled many middle and elementary school concerts and classroom plays from our past.
It seemed more than fitting to have our daughter's choir music again lift and carry us through a parenting transition to what's next.
Forever and ever
You'll stay in my heart and I will love you...
The video above is so clear. My eyes while recording it were not. So proud of her. The beauty of the music, my smiling daughter, and the moment overwhelmed me.
I know she is ready. I admit I am not.
Just sitting back and watching our kid(s) perform on stage, on the field, or in everyday life is rarely as easy as it sounds. So, as usual, I turn to writing with hope that it will help me keep the right perspective and control all the emotions. To understand how much or how little wisdom this brilliant girl needs from me now.
What will be my new role in her life? It's hard for me to keep from thinking she won't need me at all once she's gone off to college. But deep down, I know she will but in different ways. Daddying is for a lifetime. And, besides, who's going to carry all that stuff up to her dorm room on move-in day?
(That reminds me, I hope the guitar she taught herself to play during COVID lockdown is something she'll take with her to school in the fall. And I hope, unlike her dad, that she keeps singing, maybe with an a capella group on campus. I need to remind her that the world is a better place when filled with her music and voice.)
To be continued next month...
At graduation.
The 5th Annual D3F is on the way!
Scott Beller is the proud, imperfect crew dad of two mighty girl rowers, imperfect partner of their rock-star mom/regatta chaperone, a truth teller, former soccer coach, part-time driving instructor, late-night filmgoer, photobomber, purveyor of banned books, Editor of the Daddying blog, and Director of Communications for DCG and D3F. He's a seasoned writer and PR agency veteran with more than 30 years of experience helping organizations of all sizes reach audiences and tell their stories. Prior to launching his own creative communications consultancy in 2003, he led PR teams with some of the world’s most respected agencies, including Fleishman-Hillard and The Weber Group. As a consultant, he’s helped launch two other parenting advocacy nonprofits with DCG founder Allan Shedlin. His first book, Beggars or Angels, appears in the gift guide above and was a ghostwritten memoir for the nonprofit Devotion to Children's founder Rosemary Tran Lauer. He was formerly known as "Imperfect Dad" and Head Writer/Editor for the Raising Nerd blog, which supported parents in inspiring the next generation of scientists, engineers, and creative problem solvers. He earned his BA in Communications from VA Tech so many years ago. You can follow him on Instagram and BlueSky!
