Our Nest is Half Full
- Allan Shedlin
- 1 hour ago
- 4 min read
By Scott Beller
Daddying Editor
I was having lunch with my friend Charley earlier this week when the conversation inevitably turned to our kids, the good old days being home with them all day, and how they're now doing in school. Charley and I first met at the park when our oldest kids, born just a week or so apart, were barely able to walk. He was and is my first Dad friend, and we have a special bond developed over the course of our long, countless days rapping on local playgrounds and the "short" 18 years navigating parenthood as work-at-home Dads.
Each with two kids, we now both have one in college and the other still at home. Needless to say, our conversations have evolved as our kids have sailed through preschool, elementary, middle, and high school together. And now we've finally been confronted with the fact our younger kids, who we already see less and less often (shout out, crew and drama Dads!), also won't be home for much longer.
Charley and I agreed that the biggest parenting challenge yet, has been figuring out what to do with ourselves now that we don't have the same presence in our kids' lives as we once did. I'll concede the passage of time may have pushed the early diapering years into a blind spot, but I hope you get my point.
It's been such a long time since we had to focus just on ourselves. Most of our "work from home" up until now has been 100 percent kid-related. Now that I'm down to just one kid at home, a kid who is focused on rowing six days out of seven and can drive herself most places, the "extra" time I have has been a little disorienting.
During this transition to our next phase of daddying, community has been important. It's been good to have a few other at-home Dad friends in my neighborhood, like Charley, who are my age, in the same parenting situation, and can relate. A big topic of recent discussion for us over-50 Dads has been the need to make time for physical and mental self-care, including:
Keeping up with preventive medical "stuff" – e.g., physical exams, vaccines, exercise, and diet
Finding more fulfilling work, professionally and volunteering
Seeking and incorporating joyful activities – e.g., live music, books, travel
Maintaining connection with our wives as well as the kids.
I'm not a fan of the term "empty nest." We have a few bird houses in our back yard, and each spring, bird parents move in to build their temporary homes. If they happen to lay eggs and have them hatch, once the offspring are old enough to take flight, the parents also leave, never to be seen again.
At times it may feel like time is running out for me to remain an involved Dad, but I've refused to let that become our reality. I continue to cherish every minute I'm able to spend with my younger daughter while she's still at home for the next year and a half. Same goes for the time I get with her sister when she's home on breaks. To help ensure I'm able to spend as much time with them and their Mom (and maybe grandkids, some day) as possible, I've focused more lately on my own health and pursuit of happiness.
Even though both of my daughters will eventually fly away to achieve amazing things and start their own families as adults, their Mom and I aren't planning on going anywhere. Our nest, wherever it may be, will always be full of love and memories. We'll always be there for our kids when they come home. I'm happy they still want to spend the holidays, school breaks, and a little of their free time with us.
I think knowing both their Mom and Dad being here for them every day since they came home from the hospital is a big reason why. Daddy on.
Daddying Film Festival & Forum 2027
June 21, 2026
Save the Dates: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum will screen Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027! Start planning your submissions now for the D3F 2027 Call for Entries, which opens this Fathers' Day, June 21st. More D3F news to come!
Scott Beller is the proud, imperfect crew Dad of two teen, mighty girls, imperfect partner of their rock-star mom/regatta chaperone, a truth teller, purveyor of banned books, former youth soccer coach, championship basketball coach, retired part-time driving instructor, late-night filmgoer, Editor of the Daddying blog, Director of Communications for DCG and Associate Director of the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). He's a seasoned writer and PR agency veteran with more than 35 years of experience helping organizations of all sizes and individuals reach audiences and tell their stories. Prior to launching his own creative communications consultancy in 2003, he led PR teams with some of the world’s most respected agencies, including The Weber Group and Fleishman-Hillard. As a consultant, he’s helped launch two other parenting advocacy nonprofits with DCG founder Allan Shedlin, REEL Fathers and Dads Unlimited. His first book, Beggars or Angels, was a ghostwritten memoir for the nonprofit Devotion to Children's founder Rosemary Tran Lauer. He is formerly known as "Imperfect Dad" and Head Writer/Editor for the Raising Nerd blog, which supports parents in inspiring the next generation of scientists, engineers, and creative problem solvers. He earned his BA in Communications from VA Tech so many years ago. You can follow him and his frequently salty language on Instagram and BlueSky.
