While His Kids Drive Down Diverging Roads, a Dad's Only Choice is to Accompany Both
- Allan Shedlin
- Aug 29
- 7 min read
Updated: Aug 30
By Scott Beller
Daddying Editor and Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) Director of Communications
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door
– "The Long and Winding Road" by Paul McCartney, 1970
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
– from "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost
This has been the summer of road trips for us. Of course, we've embarked on many family road trips in the past, but our itineraries this summer haven't just been different geographically, they've also been infused with new meaning.
In addition to what has been an annual drive the past several years to Northeast, MD, to drop off our junior-in-high-schooler at camp (this time, as a counselor-in-training), we took another trip to Rehoboth Beach in July. Beach trips evoke so many memories for me, and I'm glad to have had the opportunity to share the good ones with my own kids while creating many more memories with them. Our past family trips to the Outer Banks, Cape Cod, and Rehoboth, have helped stifle most of the not-so-good memories that have lingered from my childhood.
Three more trips this past month were in preparation for the fall. One to Canada (St. Catherines and Port Dalhousie, Ontario), to support my high schooler (she traveled separately with her TBC teammates) competing in her first international regatta, the Royal Canadian Henley, which was early prep for the head-race season that begins next week. (In case you were wondering, yes, she kicked ass again, earning 3rd place in the stroke seat for her U17 women's 8 and winning early heats to place 4th place as stroke in her U17 women's 4!)
The other two jaunts were to Syracuse with my college freshman – one for orientation, just her and me, and one with the whole family to help move her into her dorm.
As it turns out, it might be me who needs "new student orientation" the most as I take on this next phase of daddying life. How funny.
From our home in the DC area, the routes north to St. Catherines (413 miles) and Syracuse (375 miles) feel much the same until they diverge for good in Pennsylvania, somewhere past Gettysburg. Both drives allow a parent a LOT of time to think, even while white-knuckling it around mountain curves and hulking semis that are going way too fast. Regardless of the happiness and excitement I felt taking these trips, and how happy I am that my girls both have such amazing opportunities and experiences ahead of them, the fact that they are heading in different directions has given me pause.
As a Dad, I approached the Canadian and Syracuse trips with a mix of emotions, different mindsets, and an urge to hold my kids close. I wondered what my role would be now that my kids won't need me to drive them everywhere – now that they spend more time away from home, making new friends and their own decisions, and choosing their own paths?
For 18 years, "involved, work-at-home Dad" has been my identity. It's who I always wanted to be. And, although I am the first to admit I have been far from perfect in doing that full-time job, I've been the Dad my daughters have needed me to be. The Dad they deserve. The Dad who is always there.
Now what?
I've gradually passed along my most relevant experience and "dadvice," and tried to share it in ways that won't come off to my kids as rambling lectures – often with success. Last week, for instance, I felt the need to text my college freshman some sage wisdom gained through my years of personal, trial-and-error research, just as an important reminder since she's had limited exposure to "college partying" and the fraternity/sorority scene:
Like with driving lessons, we can alert our kids to all the things they should watch out for – all the craziness and ever-changing conditions of the road. But the more independent they become, the more we have to trust that, in the moment, they will make good choices and be able to handle things themselves. That's another way of saying, we parents have to trust that we've done the best we can and given them the things they need to survive and thrive wherever they go in the wild.
It's heartening to know that my kids have had their Mom and their Dad around every day caring and helping them fill their toolboxes for the road ahead. They know they can count on us to be there for them even when we're not there physically with them.
A new school year has begun, and my kids have again headed off in different directions. Difficult as it may be, I'm riding along with both of them. Their roads ahead may be uncertain and they will face most of it without me or their Mom doing the driving. But we also have solid experience riding shotgun and fully intend to keep up. We'll monitor the GPS, tracking them through the best parts – by text, if necessary – and navigating through the roughest. We'll also work the radio when they let us, playing great tunes that keep our hearts connected.
I'm so happy that I can't stop crying
I'm so happy I'm laughing through my tears
– "I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying," by Sting, 1996, heard on drive home from college drop off
My dad wasn't a caring man. He didn't teach me how to drive, or parent, or much of anything else, really. But the older I get – the older my kids get – the more I think...
that might have made all the difference.
* * *
One quick note before we leave (and get to the D3F 2026 promo). Tomorrow, August 30th, is this mighty girl's sweet sixteenth, and we'll head out on yet another road trip to celebrate! So happy to have her here with us at home for the next two years... at least occasionally... when she's not rowing or out with her friends.
With a lot of attention focused on her big sister these past few months, she has just rolled with it, been so supportive, and continued to be nothing but awesome, on and off the water!
I love you, Lauren - you make me proud to be your Dad every day. Happy birthday!
This kid has had one helluva summer rowing and winning!
Daddying Film Fest 2026
The 5th annual Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) welcomes film and video submissions, including TikToks and Instagram reels, from students (3rd-graders through undergraduates), Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and indie filmmakers worldwide! Dads/Granddads, Dad figures, and students can submit videos/films for FREE on D3F's FilmFreeway page through Friday, Oct 3, 2025. Regular entry deadline is Monday, December 8.
And DC-region student and Dad singers, rappers, bands, choirs, dancers, and poetry slammers, don't forget this year's NEW Daddying Film Forum Opening Acts Contest! We're hosting a music, poetry, and dance video competition to choose opening acts that will perform live at the 4th annual Daddying Film Forum in Washington, DC, January 30-31, 2026. The contest is open to local DC, Maryland, and Virginia students, Dads/Dad figures, and Granddads across a range of musical, spoken-word, and dance performance categories. Contest entries are FREE* but must be submitted no later than October 3, 2025.
Not from the DMV? No problem! Even if you're not located in DC, MD, or VA, we'd love for you to create/submit a daddying-related music/dance video for D3F 2026 consideration, and all student and Dad/Granddad/Dad figure entries are still FREE if submitted by October 3, 2025. Students/Dads/Dad figures will still be eligible to earn Atticus Awards and prize money in their respective award categories! Check D3F's website for more details.
*NOTE to choir/dance directors, teachers, and other adults submitting videos on behalf of their students: Please submit contest videos on FilmFreeway as "student" submissions to ensure properly qualified as FREE entries.
Send us your Daddying films & videos to celebrate D3F's 5th Anniversary this January!
Scott Beller is the proud, imperfect crew dad of two mighty girl rowers, imperfect partner of their rock-star mom/regatta chaperone, a truth teller, former soccer coach, part-time driving instructor, late-night filmgoer, photobomber, purveyor of banned books, Editor of the Daddying blog, and Director of Communications for DCG and D3F. He's a seasoned writer and PR agency veteran with more than 30 years of experience helping organizations of all sizes reach audiences and tell their stories. Prior to launching his own creative communications consultancy in 2003, he led PR teams with some of the world’s most respected agencies, including Fleishman-Hillard and The Weber Group. As a consultant, he’s helped launch two other parenting advocacy nonprofits with DCG founder Allan Shedlin. His first book, Beggars or Angels, was a ghostwritten memoir for the nonprofit Devotion to Children's founder Rosemary Tran Lauer. He was formerly known as "Imperfect Dad" and Head Writer/Editor for the Raising Nerd blog, which supported parents in inspiring the next generation of scientists, engineers, and creative problem solvers. He earned his BA in Communications from VA Tech so many years ago. You can follow him on Instagram and BlueSky!
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