Families Crave Presence Over Presents This Holiday Season
By Allan Shedlin
Grampsy and Founder, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
The uncertainty of the times we are living through – with a daily news cycle bringing the chaos at whiplash pace that often exceeds our capacity to process it – makes us and our children crave for traditions that offer predictability and, more importantly, that can provide comfort. After enduring the seemingly endless political campaigning and with holiday shopping hype arriving earlier each year thanks to print, broadcast, and social media promotions, it feels appropriate to reissue a Daddying blog holiday-themed post with deep, 20-year roots and a timeless message.
Give your presence generously this holiday season and Daddy on...
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EDITOR'S NOTE: A version of Allan's "Presence not Presents" piece was originally published and distributed worldwide by The New York Times/Hearst News Service, November 22, 2006. We ran updated versions of that commentary on the blog, November 25, 2021, and again on Christmas Eve 2024. Below is the opening excerpt of that 2024 blog post with link the 2021 version:
Give Your Children What They Most Want and Need for the Holidays and Beyond
December 24, 2024
By Allan Shedlin
Eighteen years ago, The New York Times News Service distributed worldwide a holiday piece I wrote. It was updated four years ago as our holiday post for the Daddying blog. As I reread it, I was reminded of two things:
First, our holiday traditions have a timeless quality.
Second, I remembered a pre-holiday session at a Washington, DC-area nursery school as part of a monthly program I conducted for three years for fathers/father figures and their children. After the first part of the program, children returned to their classrooms while the dads formed a circle to share and discuss their ideas about the brief video we'd just watched that was based on a children's book dealing with family challenges.
I told the dads I had a special gift for them that would remind them of what every one of their kids most wanted for the holidays. The dads were hyper-attentive as I handed each of them...
A mirror.
READ ORIGINAL POST from 2021: "Give Them Presence for the Holidays...and Then Some"
Submissions from 70+ countries and counting!
Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
The Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) 2027 Call for Entries keeps rolling through the fall on FilmFreeway! Students (3rd grade-undergrad), Dads, Granddads, Moms, Grandmoms, dad figures, parenting podcasters, musicians, and indie filmmakers can submit films, videos, music videos, and podcast episodes through MONDAY, November 23, 2026!
Since 2022, we've received submissions from 70+ countries and we're excited to present another amazing collection of the best daddying stories submitted by students, Dads/dad figs, Moms, and indie filmmakers from around the world! Check the D3F website or our FilmFreeway page for submission details and to be inspired by Atticus Award-winning and finalist films from previous years!
SAVE THE DATES: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum, at American University in Washington, DC, will screen select Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027.
Allan Shedlin has devoted his life's work to improving the odds for children and families. He has three daughters, five grandchildren, a great grandchild on the way, and numerous "bonus" sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Trained as an educator, Allan has alternated between classroom service, school leadership, parenting coaching, policy development, and advising at the local, state, and national levels. After eight years as an elementary school principal, Allan founded and headed the National Elementary School Center. He has written about education and parenting for major news outlets and trade publications, as well as appearing on radio and TV. In 2008, he was the first male honored as a "Living Treasure" by Mothering Magazine and founded REEL Fathers. In 2010, he advised the Obama White House on Dad engagement and fatherhood policy. In 2017, he founded the DADvocacy Consulting Group. In 2018, he launched the DADDY Wishes Fund and Daddy Appleseed Fund. In 2019, he co-created and co-facilitated the Armor Down/Daddy Up! and Mommy Up! programs for veterans and their children. He has conducted daddying workshops with Native American pueblos, veterans’ groups, penitentiaries, Head Start centers, corporate boardrooms, and elementary schools. In 2022, Allan founded and directed the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). In 2024, he was named to Who’s Who. In 2025, Allan was honored with an "Official Citation" from the Maryland State General Assembly "In Recognition for All You Do for Dads, Granddads, and Kids of All Ages." He also was named 2025 “Father of the Year” by the Fathers & Families Coalition of America. In 2026, he was honored with the Dr. Charles Augustus Ballard Pioneer Award and induction into the International Father and Family Practitioner's Network Spirit of Fatherhood Hall of Fame. Allan earned his elementary and high school diplomas from NYC’s Ethical Culture Schools, BA at Colgate University, MA at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and an ABD at Fordham University. He considers his D-A-D and GRAND D-A-D the most important “degrees” of all.
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