Revisiting Our Unique Daddying Perspective: Four Fathers' Days Plus One
By Allan Shedlin
Hall of Fame Grampsy and Founder, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F),
A gentle Fathers' Day reminder for us all: Being a Dad is more than who you are, it's what you do.
I hope all Dads take time today to think about how they want their children to describe them as a father, five, 10, 20 years from now. Once figuring that out, they can dedicate themselves to becoming the Dad they want to be.
May all Dads and father figures enjoy some time listening to the words and sentiments of four dad-themed songs – the lyrics speak for themselves – included at points throughout the post below reprinted from the Daddying archives. It's interesting how relevant the piece remains in the 13 years since the original was published, and that it might be read with the understanding that more Dads have been "stepping up" and valuing their nurturing role than ever before – much as predicted in another commentary I wrote in 2008, which I later published here on the blog, titled "The Daddying Movement Evolved and Is Helping Redefine Masculinity."
And Dads, you'll note that the songs included here, though they may be from a "bygone era," are evergreen, and the emotions they trigger are well worth savoring. But, hey, it's Daddies' Day, and I know every Dad can make the time to do just that.
Daddy on!
– Allan
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EDITOR’S NOTE: A version of the following article was first distributed worldwide on June 12, 2013, by the Hearst/NY Times News Service, and a second version was published Jun 18, 2020, for our first Fathers’ Day celebration on the Daddying blog:
A Different Perspective: Four Fathers' Days Plus One
Dad, Grampsy, and Founder, DADvocacy Consulting Group
A teacher asked her first-grade student how old his father was, the child answered “six years old.” The teacher asked, “How is that possible?” The child responded, “He became a father only when I was born.” – Anonymous
I'll be celebrated this coming Sunday like millions of other Dads on our officially designated Fathers' Day, but I prefer to celebrate my three other father’s days. Here's how I figure it: these are the birthdays of each of my three daughters and the day I said "yes" when a 32-year-old adult asked me to be his father.
Yes, it feels good personally to be celebrated each year on the third Sunday of June and for the nation to have an opportunity to acknowledge the importance of fathers, but it may be of even greater value for Dads to consider celebrating the births of their children as the true father's days.
To distinguish between the two, we might consider renaming the latter "Daddies' Day."
PAUSE AND LISTEN:
George Strait: Love Without End, Amen
There is a big difference between fathers and daddies. Becoming a father is a one-time, biological act that occurs in a matter of seconds and does not require a commitment beyond a shot of DNA. Being a daddy is a lifelong process – a repertoire of actions that requires ongoing and demonstrable commitment. Daddying occurs at the juncture of fatherhood and nurturance; it can be a force that encourages a child to flourish. At its most sublime it can be reciprocally nurturing – providing the parent an opportunity to be nourished by the child's response to daddying.
PAUSE AND LISTEN:
Bette Midler, Wind Beneath My Wings
Although ideally carried out by the birth father, a daddying role can also be played by a grandfather, older brother, uncle, or close friend. Providing a daddying role is not only good for the child whose father is not around (and there are more than 24 million waking up this morning into daddy-less households – by biological definition, there is no such thing as a fatherless child), but this is good for men who take the opportunity to step up to play such a role and fill such a void.
Here's why: the hundreds of Dads, Granddads, and great Granddads I’ve interviewed during the past 23 years have told me that, as fathers, they experience a different kind of love, they are less self-centered, and they appreciate their partners more. Being engaged Dads, they also get to experience the valuable childlike qualities of curiosity, imagination, the propensity to question, a willingness to make mistakes, enthusiasm, flexibility, and humor – qualities that may be as valuable to adults as they are to children.
PAUSE AND LISTEN:
Josh Groban, You Raise Me Up
Every day in America, 11,000 babies are born. Each baby has a father, and each of these fathers has the opportunity to become a Daddy.
So let's use our official Fathers' Day each year to "Daddy-up" – it's not only for the good of our children, but also for our fathers, families, communities, and our nation.
Happy Daddies' Day!
ONE LAST PAUSE AND LISTEN:
Harry Chapin, Cats In the Cradle
Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) 2027
Fathers' Day, June 21!
Fathers' Day 2026 is finally here, and arriving with it, is the official kickoff of the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) 2027 Call for Entries, June 21st on FilmFreeway!
Since 2022, we've received submissions from 56 countries and we're excited to present another amazing collection of the best daddying stories told by students (3rd grade-undergrad), Dads/Granddads, Moms/Grandmoms, dad figures, and indie filmmakers from around the world! Students, Dads/Granddads, Moms/Grandmoms, and dad figures can submit films/videos for FREE by September 7, 2026! Regular entry deadline is November 23rd. Check the D3F website or our FilmFreeway page for more inspiration, submission details, and Atticus Award winning films!
SAVE THE DATES: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum, at American University in Washington, DC, will screen select Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027.
Lights! Camera! Daddy on!
Allan Shedlin has devoted his life's work to improving the odds for children and families. He has three daughters, five grandchildren, a great grandchild on the way, and numerous "bonus" sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Trained as an educator, Allan has alternated between classroom service, school leadership, parenting coaching, policy development, and advising at the local, state, and national levels. After eight years as an elementary school principal, Allan founded and headed the National Elementary School Center. He has written about education and parenting for major news outlets and trade publications, as well as appearing on radio and TV. In 2008, he was the first male honored as a "Living Treasure" by Mothering Magazine and founded REEL Fathers. In 2010, he advised the Obama White House on Dad engagement and fatherhood policy. In 2017, he founded the DADvocacy Consulting Group. In 2018, he launched the DADDY Wishes Fund and Daddy Appleseed Fund. In 2019, he co-created and co-facilitated the Armor Down/Daddy Up! and Mommy Up! programs for veterans and their children. He has conducted daddying workshops with Native American pueblos, veterans’ groups, penitentiaries, Head Start centers, corporate boardrooms, and elementary schools. In 2022, Allan founded and directed the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). In 2024, he was named to Who’s Who. In 2025, Allan was honored with an "Official Citation" from the Maryland State General Assembly "In Recognition for All You Do for Dads, Granddads, and Kids of All Ages." He also was named 2025 “Father of the Year” by the Fathers & Families Coalition of America. In 2026, he was honored with the Dr. Charles Augustus Ballard Pioneer Award and induction into the International Father and Family Practitioner's Network Spirit of Fatherhood Hall of Fame. Allan earned his elementary and high school diplomas from NYC’s Ethical Culture Schools, BA at Colgate University, MA at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and an ABD at Fordham University. He considers his D-A-D and GRAND D-A-D the most important “degrees” of all.
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