The Further Time and Babies Fly, Dad-Child Roles Reverse
By Scott Beller
Daddying Editor and Associate Director, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
A year ago, I wrote on the blog, "Our daddying job never ends, it evolves." Well, my evolution continues...
We pulled into the parking lot driveway on a recent official campus visit to find an energetic group of Bucknell rowers cheering in anticipation of my daughter's arrival. Our high-school senior then stayed with some of the student athletes at their apartment for a couple nights during her first college recruiting trip. The enthusiastic, open-arms reception quickly put our daughter (and her parents) at ease.
The message was clear: Here, she will be appreciated. Here, she will be safe. Here, she will be part of a family.
From a Dad's perspective, there was no better welcome for her and us. But as we said goodbye to our daughter, I was hit with a feeling that's crept into my heart over the past couple years each time I've repeated the ritual of saying goodbye to my kids at schools, and in airports, in bus stations, and even at crew practices.
It's that same feeling our kids experienced way back on their first preschool drop-off. The first stay with a new babysitter. The first time Mommy and Daddy went away on a trip. And probably on the second, third, and fourth times too.
The advice to parents in dealing with kids' bouts of separation anxiety usually is to say a quick, loving goodbye and then leave without looking back. Sounds simple. It's not, of course, but, like many things with parenting, it gets a bit easier over time.
Now, I'm the one feeling most of the anxiety at drop-offs. More than just a feeling, it's also an intense understanding of and pulling at the bonds we've created together over the years. It has made me even more intentional in my parenting and appreciate the smallest moments I spend with my kids as they become adults.
Yes, I am a proud, repeat offender of the "don't look back" rule. As a Dad, I believe it's one of my inalienable rights, like telling bad jokes and controlling the remote. Before we sent our daughter on her merry way to bond with prospective college crew teammates while exploring her possible future home, I ran back to give her another hug. Earlier this month, I watched my older daughter as she disappeared down the long hallway and through airport security when heading back to school after fall break. Neither looked back to see if I was still there.
I tell myself that the fact my kids don't need that kind of vigilance from me anymore – no reassurance that "Dad is always here for you" – is because I've done something right. Yet the anxiety remains.
Once our kids reach adulthood, I don't think we parents ever shake the anxiety of letting them go. But it is easier when you trust those caring for them while they're away. Thankfully, the anxiety and pain of watching our kids leave is no match for the joy of seeing them thriving in this crazy world and greeting them with open arms whenever they're able to make it home again.
Daddy on.
Submissions from 70 countries and counting!
Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
The Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) 2027 Call for Entries keeps rolling through the fall on FilmFreeway! Students (3rd grade-undergrad), Dads, Granddads, Moms, Grandmoms, dad figures, Parenting Podcasters, Musicians, and indie filmmakers can submit films, videos, music videos, and podcast episodes through November 23, 2026!
Since 2022, we've received submissions from 70+ countries and we're excited to present another amazing collection of the best daddying stories submitted by students, Dads/dad figs, Moms, and indie filmmakers from around the world! Check the D3F website or our FilmFreeway page for submission details and to be inspired by Atticus Award-winning and finalist films from previous years!
SAVE THE DATES: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum, at American University in Washington, DC, will screen select Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027.
Scott Beller is the proud, imperfect crew Dad and occasional chauffeur of two teen, mighty girls, imperfect partner of their rock-star regatta mom, a truth teller, purveyor of banned books, former youth soccer coach, championship basketball coach, retired part-time driving instructor, late-night filmgoer, Editor of the Daddying blog, Director of Communications for DCG, and Associate Director of the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). He's a seasoned writer and PR agency veteran with more than 35 years of experience helping organizations of all sizes and individuals reach audiences and tell their stories. Prior to launching his own creative communications consultancy in 2003, he led PR teams with some of the world’s most respected agencies, including The Weber Group and Fleishman-Hillard. As a consultant, he’s helped launch two other parenting advocacy nonprofits with DCG founder Allan Shedlin, REEL Fathers and Dads Unlimited. His first book, Beggars or Angels, was a ghostwritten memoir for the nonprofit Devotion to Children's founder Rosemary Tran Lauer. He is formerly known as "Imperfect Dad" and Head Writer/Editor for the Raising Nerd blog, which supports parents in inspiring the next generation of scientists, engineers, and creative problem solvers. He earned his BA in Communications from VA Tech so many years ago. You can follow him and his frequently salty language on Instagram and BlueSky.
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