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  • Writer's pictureAllan Shedlin

A Pep Talk for At-Home Dads

Updated: Jan 3

By Ben Killoy

U.S. Marine Veteran, Podcaster, and Armor Down/Daddy Up! Facilitator

Ben with his kids (L to R) Sophia, Lillian, and Dylan

The following is from Ben Killoy's keynote speech to attendees of last week's National At-Home Dad Network 25th HomeDadCon in Cincinnati, OH. The excerpt is published with Ben's permission in an effort to inspire even more fathers, at-home fathers, and father figures to seize the day and become the dads they and their children want and need them to be:

Ben addresses HomeDadCon

Hope does come from other people.

Other people can inspire you.

Other people can give you the gift of seeing who you are.

But you are also responsible for your own hope.

You are responsible for your own happiness.

You are not responsible for others’ happiness, and others are not responsible for yours.

Represent your own happiness. Create a space for happiness to exist.

When we set a goal, call our shot, and get clear on where we see ourselves in the future, we create hope.

We bring that power into the present moment, and it can create a deep sense of urgency to create it.

Build that fire within you, create internal accountability, and accept responsibility for your own happiness.

Change the man that's looking in the mirror by creating such a strong vision of the future that being who you are today is the craziest thought you've ever had.

How you see yourself is how you see the world

You do not need to wait a whole year for that man to show up. You are already that man.

You just need to go into the world and believe that you've had everything inside yourself to do everything that you've ever wanted, to be more than you've ever wanted to be.

The only thing you had to do was change who you see in the mirror.

See your life with the lens of that vision that it is so clear you start running towards it in a way that makes this today a day where you look back and see everything changed in the future.


Ben Killoy is a U.S. Marine veteran, husband, and father to three kids, Sophia, 9, Dylan, 6, and Lillian, who is 5 going on 16. He is a speaker, coach, podcaster, and a DCG Armor Down/Daddy Up! workshop facilitator. He launched his podcast Military Veteran Dad in 2019. He now spends more quality time with his family as a stay-at-home dad and coach focused on helping high-performing men with thriving business lives but out-of-balance family lives.


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