Processing My Greatest Birthday Gift Ever
- Allan Shedlin
- May 1
- 4 min read
By Allan Shedlin
Grampsy and Founder, Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F)
My daughter handed me a "special" birthday gift fresh from her return from a visit with her oldest son in Texas. When I opened the carefully wrapped onesie replica of a Texas flag, it took me a few seconds to process its significance. It was a gift from my oldest grandson and his partner, Baylee. It was a clever way of announcing that he would become a Daddy.
My ecstasy on his behalf was instant!
That was a few days ago, and I am still processing it, as are the extended family members who have now been notified. Its significance is epic because it takes our family into a new generation. It's epic because my grandson's identity will be instantly changed forever, as will his parents', siblings', cousins', aunts', and uncles'. And the same on his partner's side.
Of course, so will mine and his and her other grandparents'.
As I think about all these identity changes, it feels a bit like ripples in a pond, which become less pronounced yet more encompassing the further one gets from where the pebble has splashed the surface. The outermost circles fade the fastest.
My identity first changed six decades ago when I became a Dad for the first time. It felt so significant that it prompted me to think about my life being divided into two distinct phases: BD (before daddying) and AD (after daddying). It changed again three decades later when my life was divided into three segments, the newest being AG (after granddaddying).
Now there will be a fourth, AGG (after great granddaddying)!
Each new daddying phase provides myriads of adjustments and opportunities. Each offers a new opportunity to provide love for a wider family group and to appreciate the blessings of a new life. A new hope for a world deeply in need of hope. Each provides an opportunity for subsequent generations to get a sense of the love felt by the previous generation.
I've been reminded of what I said to my daughter at the birth of her son: "Now you will feel and understand the unique love I felt for you as your Daddy." It is a depth of love that's hard to put into words but easy and joyful to feel.
This week, I began to wonder about the depth of love I will feel for my first great grandchild and the renewed and perhaps intensified love I will feel for my grandson, my daughter, my son-in-law, and all the family in our pond.
Great Granddaddy on.
Daddying Film Festival & Forum 2027
June 21, 2026
Save the Dates: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum will screen Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027! Start planning your submissions now for the D3F 2027 Call for Entries, which opens this Fathers' Day, June 21st. More D3F news to come!
Allan Shedlin has devoted his life's work to improving the odds for children and families. He has three daughters, five grandchildren, a great grandchild on the way, and numerous "bonus" sons, daughters, and grandchildren. Trained as an educator, Allan has alternated between classroom service, school leadership, parenting coaching, policy development, and advising at the local, state, and national levels. After eight years as an elementary school principal, Allan founded and headed the National Elementary School Center. He has written about education and parenting for major news outlets and trade publications, as well as appearing on radio and TV. In 2008, he was the first male honored as a "Living Treasure" by Mothering Magazine and founded REEL Fathers. In 2010, he advised the Obama White House on Dad engagement and fatherhood policy. In 2017, he founded the DADvocacy Consulting Group. In 2018, he launched the DADDY Wishes Fund and Daddy Appleseed Fund. In 2019, he co-created and co-facilitated the Armor Down/Daddy Up! and Mommy Up! programs for veterans and their children. He has conducted daddying workshops with Native American pueblos, veterans’ groups, penitentiaries, Head Start centers, corporate boardrooms, and elementary schools. In 2022, Allan founded and directed the Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F). In 2024, he was named to Who’s Who. In 2025, Allan was honored with an "Official Citation" from the Maryland State General Assembly "In Recognition for All You Do for Dads, Granddads, and Kids of All Ages." He also was named 2025 “Father of the Year” by the Fathers & Families Coalition of America. Allan earned his elementary and high school diplomas from NYC’s Ethical Culture Schools, BA at Colgate University, MA at Columbia University’s Teachers College, and an ABD at Fordham University. He considers his D-A-D and GRAND D-A-D the most important “degrees” of all.
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