What is the Dad Difference?
- Allan Shedlin
- 18 hours ago
- 4 min read
By Deborah R. Higdon, Ed.D.
Educator and Father Engagement Specialist
What is the difference between a father and a Dad? It's a question I recently asked during a presentation about my new book, co-authored with Chacko Abraham, The Dad Difference: How and Why to Invite Fathers Into Your School.Â
The question was meant to prompt a more thoughtful discussion about how men may evolve from being a father to being an active and positively-involved Dad. As Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) founder Allan Shedlin often reminds us, almost anyone can become a father. It's a basic, biological function. But being a Dad is more than biology. Being a Dad demands more than just creating a child. A Dad is ever-present. He stays as a caregiver, provider, confidante, and partner in helping to raise a child. A dad is "all-in" emotionally, financially, academically, and socially.
And that's the difference.
Dads Making a Difference in Schools
In America, it's the law that all children under the age of 17 attend school. However, schools across America are in trouble. Post-COVID student behaviors have been terrible. While overall gun deaths have been falling in America, there continue to be multiple shootings on school grounds each month.
While writing this blog post, I saw a report that a local high-school student was in a fight during lunch and was shot. On-campus violence has become so pervasive in the U.S. that in some districts, schools have begun allowing staff to come to work armed for protection. And the presence of weapons and violence have not limited to secondary schools. This year alone, three elementary school students have brought guns to school in Maryland. And those are just the ones we know about. There are reports of students in grades as early as kindergarten and first grade violently attacking their teachers, flipping over desks, and destroying classrooms.
So, what are we going to do?
Research has proven that when fathers are engaged in their children’s education, everyone benefits. Schools become stronger, students feel more supported, and families build deeper trust with educators. A father’s involvement is not just a nice addition to school life; it can shape student behavior, academic growth, and a child’s overall sense of belonging.
While there are not enough police to help reverse this negative behavior trend in our schools, there are plenty of Dads who can. Schools MUST engage Dads more effectively so that students can get back on an academic track and not stuck in "just be safe" mode. We simply can't afford to wait any longer.
That's why I wrote The Dad Difference.Â
I've been an educator for 40+ years. I've worked in 19 schools – yes, 19 schools! I've engaged fathers in all those schools and have seen the immediate impact of their presence, especially in reducing negative behaviors. But more than that, I have seen families come together and bond in ways that nobody could have predicted.
We need each other more now than ever. We need both mothers and fathers actively engaged in their children's lives, regardless of their family dynamic. Father engagement is powerful because it reaches beyond one classroom or one child. We know it contributes to a healthier school environment overall.
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Being a Dad demands more than just creating a child. A Dad is ever-present. He stays as a caregiver, provider, confidante, and partner in helping to raise a child. A dad is "all-in"Â emotionally, financially, academically, and socially.
If schools want stronger outcomes for students, fathers must be part of the conversation. Their involvement supports learning, strengthens behavior, and builds a more connected school community. Most of all, it reinforces the idea that children thrive when the adults around them work together. The Dad Difference enables schools to hit the ground running with no-cost strategies on how to begin, maintain, and broaden an effective father engagement program.
Fathers are already committed. The opportunity is not to ask them to care more, but to make space for their care to be seen, welcomed, and used well. When schools value fathers and engage them intentionally, the benefits reach students, families, and communities alike.
In the end, father engagement is not an extra. It is a powerful educational strategy with lasting impact. It is The Dad Difference.
Daddying Film Festival & Forum 2027
June 21, 2026
Save the Dates: The 6th annual, virtual Daddying Film Festival will take place on Eventive, January 11-20, 2027, and our LIVE Daddying Film Forum will screen Atticus Award winners and finalists, January 29-30, 2027! Start planning your submissions now for the D3F 2027 Call for Entries, which opens this Fathers' Day, June 21st. More D3F news to come!
Dr. Deborah Higdon is an experienced educational leader, father engagement specialist, and national and international speaker. She has been a school nurse, high school teacher, assistant principal, principal and a secondary math supervisor. Dr. Higdon was selected twice as the principal of the year. Once by the Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) media specialists and again by the MCPS Junior Council, representing 36,000 middle school students in the county. Currently, a K-12 administrative substitute for MCPS and adjunct professor for Montgomery College, she is a Claes Nobel Educator of Distinction Awardee.
Dr. Higdon co-authored a book with Chacko Abraham for ASCD & ISTE titled, The Dad Difference, that will be published in the spring of 2026. She received her Doctor of Education degree in Educational Leadership from Bowie State University, her Master of Education from Hood College, and her Bachelor of Science in nursing from the University of Pittsburgh School of Nursing.
